Words

 

The Complete Guide To Insufficiency

Ambiguity:

How much love can a boy contain in here?
How many contradictions can a girl possess up there?
These questions are too ambiguous,
Try to narrow down your search.
Somethings I know, it’s hard.
It’s easy to forget where you came from
If there’s no question of your return,
Such selfishnesses trivialise any tenderness
As the coffee commands the torture of my bowels,
Pronouncing every word with a rigid insensitivity,
Plus I struggle with the nightshade in my blood.
I really shouldn’t say it,
But I just love what the water does.

Unmarked Grave:

I was a soldier in a far off land, the arrow deep in my side,
I would return one day my love, to the heavens we would ride.
My body rots while she is weeping, I remain forever sleeping,
Resting my bones from the daily chores, rest my bones forever more.
My body lies in an unmarked grave, my heart remains with the one I love,
She’s awaiting my return, although I know that will never come.
My body rots while she is weeping, I remain forever sleeping,
Resting my bones on a far off shore, rest my bones forever more.
As I decay neath my blanket of earth my heart is yet to be satisfied,
A seedling grows on my burial ground, just to wither and die.
My body rots while she is weeping, I remain forever sleeping,
Resting my bones from the daily chores, rest my bones forever more.

Execution:

I wouldn’t take her to an execution,
I wouldn’t take her to a live sex show,
I wouldn’t piss or shit on her would I?
Because I love her so.

Walking Over You:

I try to pressurise the parts of you I’m wanting,
Try to manipulate your point of view,
I wish that you were not going where you’re going,
Everybody’s walking over you.

Ever Rotating Sky:

Tapping and tisking in the corner,
Slowly cooking in the softness,
To have glued my hand in place,
A fire burns in my guts and my face screws up in delight…
The violation of your body,
The pieces they fall into the holes,
Flakes of skin in my mouth,
Petals trodden into the carpet.
Like, the ever-rotating sky,
This sentiment carries no weight…
To have felt the depths of life,
And the drowning shallows of death,
The storm of the half-sleep
The half-sleeping storm,
Out of the blackness of incompletion
Into the politics of inconsequence.

It’s In There Somewhere

Circle Is Never Complete:

There once was a pain on this earthly crust,
The cause of my own consternation/consummation,
Passioned by leaving the one true love,
In a far part of this nation.
There still is a pain in this chest of mine
Pulsating and aching so deep.
Beneath the fire of my open wounds
Bleed tears a-fore I go to sleep.
Like all winds blow in adversity
The circle is never complete.

I Don’t Want To Believe You:

I don’t want to believe you, it’s probably eyes that break the disguise.
I call you baby, and throw stones in the water,
Standing in the carpark looking at the cars parked,
Or in the mirror, can’t stand to be stared at
It’s only eyes and you knew the disguise so it’s perfect,
Only wishing is stupid,
Can’t control where the dice may roll
But I found it, behind some memory or something,
Too much time spent on passion crime, where did it falter, stood at the alter,
Break my face to move apace up to that winter,
Knocking on the stone wall,
Call me a failure and maybe I’ll mail you a letter
To tell you I’m lonely,
It’s only eyes, break the disguise.

Ain’t Got No Sole:

I went down to the swollen river, I had no fear of drowning,
I peeped over the bridges barrier, into swirling chocolate brown,
I went down the banks so slimy, look how it does eddy,
I grabbed the nearest branch right by me for myself to steady,
Held my head in my two hands, I felt I was now ready,
Had a little clarity pang I lost all my sense of dread,
I have no reason to return.
Submerged in water up to my waist now my mind revolves in my head,
lost my balance my ankle I did twist, my fingers frozen red.
I felt like one of those mental bastards, I lost my shoe.
How I’ve fooled all my associates, how I loved that shoe,
But it has no reason to return.

Why Are You Not Here?:

Your lambasting of the way that I am to the extent…
One retort being that I am simply a second rate event,
And I expel all reason in the next thing I said,
Well thats how it was read,
Your disciplined mind I hasten to add, is all in your head.
You found time to berate the simplicities of what I thought,
Expecting resentment I took you aback with my next exhort.
Remember you said, that the way that I think just isn’t right?
Well, if you’re so right then why are you not here?
When all that I want is for you to be here.

Nature:

I’m going to look through end of this telescope, such is the nature of a fool.
I’m going to charge through this china shop, such is the nature of a bull.
I’m going to broaden my horizons, such is the nature of aims.
(But) I’m going lose myself with you, going against my idea of change.
I’m going to drink until I stink, such is the nature of a drunk,
(And) I’m going to stay underneath for a while now, such is the nature of the sunk.

One Day:

Light of my life, don’t fade.
I wish sometimes I was a lonely boy,
I would never have to live with the fear,
That one day, you may go.

So Much Sin To Forgive:

If you touch your finger
With your other finger
When you’re not a hundred per cent
Then you will be feeling yourself again.
You don’t turn over
Like I don’t turn over,
Because of tension I guess,
I didn’t make you happy tonight.
I need the doe,
And the doe needs me,
In a herd of love and trust
I am a stag of complacency.
God loves a murderer,
Because there is so much sin to forgive.

Look What I have Done:

I will never forget the love we’ve made,
Look what I have done.
I’ll be the soldier that has nothing to fight,
I’ll be the knife that has nothing to slice, and
I’ll be the wrong that has nothing to right,
I’ll be the cow that has nothing to feed,
I’ll be the letter that has nothing to bleed, and
I’ll be the penis that has nothing to seed,
I’ll be the eyes that have nowhere to look,
I’ll be the pot that has nothing to cook, and
I’ll be the sticker with nowhere to get stuck.
Throw my clothes into the ebbing tide,
Press my lips up against yours tonight.

David Thomas Broughton vs. 7 Hertz

Weight Of My Love:

Can’t get a job,
I can’t tie down a living,
I can’t get by on the pittance they’re giving,
I can’t afford a taxi from Otley to Leeds,
But that’s not the weight I carry with me.
Can’t get a job,
I can’t tie down a living,
I can’t get by on the pittance they’re giving,
I can’t afford a pasty from the Gregg’s bakery,
That’s not the weight (stone) I carry with me.
I’ll build it from matches,
I’ll build it from straw,
I’d build it from bricks if only I could afford,
I’ll build you house for to live my love.
A box of cedar,
A box of pine,
A hole in the ground would do just fine,
I’ll dig you a grave for to sleep my love.

No Great Shakes:

To enter this world with a candle in my hand,
The first mistake I made.
For the thought of knowing is something I will never know,
As into the dark waters I wade.
If there’s one thing worse that the thought of losing,
It’s the actual physical loss.
‘Til then it’s no great my love,
No Great shakes my love.

Jolly:

There are so many carcinogens in this world,
I can feel the swelling in my nodes.
And as long as I have a hole in my bleeding arse,
I will hold you tight with my weak unmanly arms.

Fisted Hand:

From the arms of a love
To the fists of another
I take my life
I treat you now with the rough touch of a man,
And it broke in my fisted hand.
From the arms my love
To the fists of another
I feel myself fall
And I treat my love with the heart of a woman
But she doesn’t rise for me
Because I treat her once
With the rough touch of a man,
And it has broke in my fisted hand.

River Outlet:

I was born by the East River outlet,
Always pictured the city in smell.
So I never had mind to travel uptown
It always fucked-up the view of the stars.
For all the strings and the brass there is a longer silence,
for every fear there’s a moment of joy.
And I’m sorry for breaking the stems of the flowers
on the table where we ate our meals.
How you conduct this orchestra
with a wave of your hand or a flick of your wrist.
This house is not your home my son,
This house is not your home.
For all the strings and the brass there is a longer silence,
All the fear holds a moment of joy.
My arrow is weaker than you would expect,
I would never hurt you.
For my heart is expansive as a sprawling seascape,
And my mind is the wide open sky.

Anchovies EP

Anchovies:

I’m not ill,
I’m not unwell,
But I’m going to call in sick for work today.
Not going to cut no tree,
Not going to cut no flower,
I’m going to leave this city for good.
Not going to mow no lawn,
Not going to trim no hedge,
I’m going to find your house and walk right in.
Not going to make no vote,
Not going to cross no box,
I’m going to find a cloud and see what shapes it makes.
Not going to write no song,
Not going to play no guitar,
I’m going to find a fence that I can sit on.
Not going to paint no picture,
Not going to write no word,
I’m going to find and fill my belly with anchovies.
Not going to drive no truck,
Not going to fly no plane,
I’m going to rip somebody’s clothes from the line.
Not going to stop me now,
Not going to slow my hand,
I’m going to risk this this bubble bursting,
I’m going to lie right through my teeth once more.

The Window:

When the funeral’s over and the mourners have gone,
It’s the last clean-up job you’ll have done.
Think of the love that I have shown you,
This is the window I’m going to climb through.
I’m ending it here on this busy town street,
I’ll unload my burdensome self from you, sweet.
You’ll not have clear up my mess and my spills,
I’m leaving the world on this high window sill.
For all of the times I’ve caused you to cry,
You won’t have to carry my weight on your mind.
When the funeral’s over and the mourners have gone,
It’s the last clean-up job you’ll have done.

Liberazione:

I am the cold ground,
You are the hard rain,
I don’t know why… We can never complement each other,
You’re in your window,
I’m on your driveway,
We woke your father,
I had to shout above the wind to reach you,
This is my happy face,
This is my laughter.
I am the melancholy… Colic which hunches you over,
Run like the hunted buck,
Clenching your abdomen,
I sometimes wheel like a vulture above your lame body,
This is the last line,
We’re nearing the end now,
Some of you will remember me but others won’t.

Outbreeding

River Lay:

A river of love flows through the valley of my heart,
And it floods my guts with fear,
Although the words are soft and clear,
They will never bridge the widening divide,
Despite the generosity of your allies,
But like the reeds they dampen the blow,
And you you can waste your life
On the banks of the river lay,
But it won’t mean much
If you don’t have something to say,
And you can walk with the others
But you wont go the same way.

Apologies:

Thinking as I do, as the light touches your face,
Wishing that I could ever be so gentle,
Meaning not to offend, I fell into a sleep,
Knowing hypocrites are always going to be.
Sleep my darling, sleep my darling,
How I love you with such just.
We have half-life enough to sustain us through the rough,
Clashes and defence of all we have done wrong,
Hoping there is a whole where the half used to be.
I tried all night to set your body on fire.
Apologies if I ever acted lazily,
Apologies if you had to kick me in the side,
Apologies too if ever there was any doubt,
Apologies again if ever I was lazy.
I weave the gold back into straw,
How I love you like I loved you before.

Nature:

I’m going to look through end of this telescope, such is the nature of a fool.
I’m going to charge through this china shop, such is the nature of a bull.
I’m going to broaden my horizons, such is the nature of aims.
(But) I’m going lose myself with you, going against my idea of change.
I’m going to drink until I stink, such is the nature of a drunk,
(And) I’m going to stay underneath for a while now, such is the nature of the sunk.

Perfect Louse:

Oh for the lengths I have had to go and the further pains of my expression,
I want you to expect that they play to you virtues, and that you hold over them a considerable advantage,
But like the muck-peddler I have devised the ruin of your purity,
And like the rough-shodder I have trampled your good name,
I am a perfect louse I bleed the goodness from your body,
To think I thought I could change and oh to believe such piffle,
I long never to rest in the tomb of my family,
Or be hoist to the wind
May I be scattered here with you.

Potential Of Our Progeny:

We should never underestimate the potential of our progeny,
With your brains and my look,
With my ifs and your buts,
With your common sense and my brute force,
Our rabid intentions and failed discourse,
A last ditch attempt to reconcile it all,
With your consolation and my content-ment all of these things,
I meant all of those things,
I peppered my own fear with face,
And I wilfully gave in’
I gave into your will although it hurts me so.

Staying True:

My body is so crap at staying true, to my will and the way I’d like to be,
My father’s fist is a brick in my heart,
As my face speckled with hormones, my mouth closed in retreat,
I mistreated my poor bones and felt the warm hand of defeat,
A tip-tap of the finger a heavy drop of the sigh,
I though then I held back the shutting shut of an eye.
Scars on my body are testing the value of time,
But I am a grown man and to touch is a personal crime,
It never gets easy the sense and the tension compete,
As a grown man I’m useless,
Oh, but I’m driven by the fear.

Electricity:

Might have come to express myself so let’s go somewhere we can really talk,
I’ll. end up cooking up some false denial of my apathy,
Maybe I’m pretentious if I expect these words to have a little twist,
I would’ve been much better if I had a little mind to be somehow supportive,
I’m sorry to all those folks I could’ve been quite good friends with,
It’s not like I said stuff when I was drunk, you know I just can’t work out what my problem is,
I’m surprised my logic didn’t spot the mistakes afore I accepted them,
Don’t you know the electricity is the fundamental cause of everything,
In the main all that I can glean is that it is the reason that this world is fucked,
Underneath our discrepancies is a glint of hope and I call this thing love.

Ain’t Got No Sole:

I went down to the swollen river, I had no fear of drowning,
I peeped over the bridges barrier, into swirling chocolate brown,
I went down the banks so slimy, look how it does eddy,
I grabbed the nearest branch right by me for myself to steady,
Held my head in my two hands, I felt I was now ready,
Had a little clarity pang I lost all my sense of dread,
I have no reason to return.
Submerged in water up to my waist now my mind revolves in my head,
lost my balance my ankle I did twist, my fingers frozen red.
I felt like one of those mental bastards, I lost my shoe.
How I’ve fooled all my associates, how I loved that shoe,
But it has no reason to return.

Onwards We Trudge:

Into the well of ideas I never dropped,
Off the edge of my better side I popped,
A spell of good weather gave me lightness,
But the gravity it never went away,
And onwards we trudge,
A stronghold we claim,
Is it a stronghold we’ve got?
Is it balls,
The strategy is theoretically right,
But is it right?
Is it balls,
Oh my love is gone and my faith is shot
And I fall to ground like a corpse,
I lift my arms to the heavens and shout
‘Want can I do?’,
And onwards we trudge.

Joke:

You make me forget what a joke I have become,
For all the flowers that I didn’t buy,
For all the songs that I didn’t write,
For all the days I could’ve spent,
For all the months we could’ve shared the rent
For all the dates on which I turned up late
For all the excuses I could have made,
For all the calls I never made
For all the attention I never paid
For all the gestures bastardised by untruth
For all the brittle promises I made to you
For all the men you might have met
And all the time we cried in secret
For all the weeks we’ve been apart
And all the times I said that it would start from here on in
I’m sorry now.

UnAbleTo

Salvation:

I found no salvation in either the left or the right,
Only sympathy for the struggle I’ve been through
No structure to build beliefs on,
No sense of reliability,
Only a deep understanding of what I’m never going to achieve
Pathetically I cling to this guff and unwillingly sob.
Cling to the old way of living
While embracing a new kind of approach
In memory of the old world you revive a laughter and shred of respect,
But the darkness is upon us.
I proudly defecated on all the careful construction
I had prepared a whole life in the making
well wishers are not welcome
I have actually destroyed a perfectly functional machine, oh shit!
And the constant crowing fails to lift any sense of urgency
I remain prostrate and swaddled.

Soil Of War:

Recall crag-tops and outcrops grazing horizon,
Sooted stone houses and steep valley sides,
A babbling Calder cuts its old crooked line,
Recalling these things under flashing French skies,
Flowers of enemy fire over head,
Friends and comrades twisted and dead,
Inextricably tied to dark Pennine moors,
A man starts to grow in the soil of war.

Problems:

The rumble in our bellies belies a longing.
In strictness I found nothing but strictness.
In hate I found so much relief.
In problems I found problems.
Ignorance is your salvation.
I have not coped,
I have coped a little,
Or I always seem to cope.
I have not changed,
I have changed a little,
Or I always seem to have changed.

Faith In Women:

In squares I lost my faith in women,
Waiting for all kinds of meeting,
In gardens of spring scent fulfilling
Weep for loss of chances fleeting,
Friends can remain friends as long as you don’t attempt to get in touch, the depths grow deeper.
Stop your moping lazy fucker –
Happiness a concept meant to scupper –
The brains potential yours to bugger –
Should it be known it was lost to a lover? 
while said friends plunder flippancy
I was working for a steady wage,
Although we struck up conversation
I can relate to nothing you say,
With cracking smile and crossed wires
Which give away my age.
Stop your moping lazy fucker –
Happiness a concept meant to scupper –
The brains potential yours to bugger –
Should it be known it was lost to a lover? 

Take The Edge Off:

Took my hand in it’s clenched fist walked me up to your illustration of an overwhelming vista.
Takes the edge of the words that you were about to say
Throw your love to the cursing winds
And piss the time up the wall,
Soon we will pass away and what then?
Nothing.

Martha:

She was my Martha, my Alice, and my Kathleen.
Both fear and comfort had rose up in me.
Alas, I was doomed from the outset.
It starts at her house and takes me into town.
I crumpled the paper on which I’d writ it down.
The work of some prattish imposter.
I was smitten for sure, did I think that aloud?
T’was insufferable, crushing and embarrassing now.
You know that she turned out to be gay.
Grabbing my tackle and take the bus into town.
Grapple with bulls horns and fail to come down.
In me there was nowt but a weakling.
It’s life as I know it and it’s not so great.
I struggle to work and I procrastinate.
And now the train it is leaving.

Sliding The Same Way (David Thomas Broughton & Juice)

In Service:

I served for the crown and I served for the law,
Now I’m serving the time I am due.
I took a man’s life under the direction of war,
That’s not the life I’m serving time for.
I killed a man as a hangman employed,
That’s not the innocent life I destroyed.
No I brawled under alcohol, I fought with fist and tooth.
I cut a figure both frenzied and uncouth.
I deeply regret all events that did pass.
I killed a man wi’ a broken glass.

The Assurance:

I lived with my mother until I died as a child,
I’ve crossed my heart, I have sworn on your life.
The miracle of birth is appealing,
The comfort of strangers is not comfort at all.
Problems are challenges and willing is an asset.
All the time I spent redeeming is simply time that I have spent.
All the time you spend forgiving is time that you have spent.

A Man To Call My Own:

Says he loves you, but not too much.
Says he loves you, don’t turn away.
It is foreign of me to ask questions,
but it’s probably the reason that I ache
Like a poor old maid worked like a horse all day.
I’m a sinner, it’s plainly seen,
That my heart is muddied, like the Thames of London.
Sail a smooth water, sail a smooth water, sails smooth water, sail a smooth water I won’t.
Christ I should have noticed, Christ I have nothing to say, Christ I should have noticed, But maybe it’s best this way.
Cleave the scrub and till it,
Nature overcomes.
I’ll wait a lonely lifetime
To find a man to call my own.

Been A While:

I asked the winter, the winter he said,
“I may have chilled you but I don’t wish you dead”.
I ask the spring, the spring she done said,
“I may have soaked you but I don’t wish you dead”.
Then why do I lay here in the ground?
I asked the summer the summer she said
“I may have baked you but I don’t wish you dead”
I ask the autumn, the autumn he said,
“I may leave you naked, but I don’t wish you dead”.
Then why do I lay here in the ground?

The Promise:

My heart was lifted by blossom through emerging leaves,
And over barbed bough.
Aphids drop their overflowing indulgences,
From the limes that line the avenue.
Sun is sparkling on the waves.
Some haze floats the chunk of an islet,
Above yonder horizon.
A dulcimer chimes on some ancient shore,
A family builds a house home.
Fishermen battle squall,
Rolling hills to chalk headland fall.
On heathen hills in winters gale.
Wan features stark, against the mauve.
Sky infects the feeling.
I will glass every one of you pricks in this bar.
It may not be the promise I intended.

Woodwork:

Into the woodwork of my resolve, the grubs do burrow.
Taking what was once so strong, and weakening it so.
With every crack and every crunch,
This world is eating me for lunch,
And I long for a fine to burn.
All through my grain, up to my knots,
I am suffering with the rot,
Oh I long for a fire to burn.

Yorkshire Fog:

Through Yorkshire Fog and Timothy
Through Yorkshire Fog and Timothy
Intolerant of race a creed
I tread the sods with heavy feet
I’m sodden from the dew.
A spear I raise to fiend and foe
From where I came I’ll always know
My mothers breast my fathers hand
Brought me up to be a man
I’m sodden from the dew.
I ponder rose and honeysuckle
Clench my fist and bite my knuckle
I crouch in anticipation
Fight for my mothers nation
I’m sodden from the dew.

Oh! Nurse Of Mine:

As my children grow and flee,
As time eats away at me,
As your finger loses pulse,
As we wait for my results.
But while vein and artery,
Pump a lifeblood throughout me,
This wisdom I will cast,
In the hope to my family you will pass,
Oh! nurse of mine. Oh! nurse of mine.
As I release you children into carcinogen, and black factory smoke sprawl.
I am north of the Peak District you’re south of such misery,
You’re far from the place you were born.
Just call on your ancestors, remember your origins,
Don’t forget there’s been history for years.
Intelligent as you are, with travels that take you far.
Somethings, they transcend all your learning.

Unshaven Boozer:

She took with a foreigner,
Sailed to a foreign land,
I don’t know when I’ll next see her.
Tall tan old moneybags,
Rich thieving rascal,
I’m sure he’s just out to deceive her.
So I know he’s intelligent,
I know he’s wise,
But has he the tools of construction?
I live by a strong arm
In factory or on farm,
I am incredibly able.
I can work for a living,
And keep on giving
To you all the bread on the table.
But a sorrier man,
Never there was,
I’d cut out my heart just to please you.
For the mine shaft is shuttered
The steel yard a-boarded,
The shipbuilding ceased in these parts,
Manufacturing mechanised,
Farmhands are foreigners,
Opportunities they never start.
Although I’m an unshaven boozer, I do all my drinking in town.
I know I have strong arms
And fists like boulders,
But I’ll do nothing but use them to hold you.

Sliding The Same Way:

Like it or not, we are sliding the same way.
But we all have hearts and arms to hold us down.

Crippling Lack. Volume 1

Crippling Lack:

On firing up over the slight
when the substantial is most definite,
apparent, and poised to smack.
On walks by the upper Mersey,
glass-eyed, both conquered,
terrified, with the sweat on our backs.
On cradling each other,
on battling through and making do,
spending money on credit since I got the sack.
On forgiveness and tempered sentiment,
open to suggestion, but too timid to ask.
Throat of a horse and crippling lack.
On sparkling and dew-cheeked,
a plumped cushion of hope blocking
rigid reality and the parallel track.

Beast:

Sun picks out pale warblers on willow and painted ladies pausing on perches,
before pairing clumsily and padding on the breeze.
Wrapped in Earth’s diurnal course with rocks, and stones, and trees.
Ravaged as we are some day by some sort of disease.
To the one new young friend we have:
Almost inaudible sounds come through like sirens to your ears. You have to watch yourself if you want to be taken seriously. You are always showing your age.
To one of the many people I regret not showing more attention to:
I am not the trained health specialist with the beautiful dark skin. I’m simply the friend you once had, Simon, come to see the state that you’re in.
If you can’t be forgiving then you can’t be my friend. We drink ’til we’re drunk and we walk ’til we bend.
My love is something that comes with no question, but you insist on it’s dissection.
My love is a stone that has known no attrition.
Have been left with nothing but blanks of uncertainty.
How could you have seen future in the futility of love?
How could you have seen something that was not?
When we would become the beast with two consciences.

Words Of Art:

These words they come from the heart, from the heart that beats in you.
They are merely words of art, not the whole fucking truth
I will be a loving devotee, and you can be the hungry beast I feed.
A man like me if an infidel, would much prefer your sister…
Than spend his time a fraternising with another mister.
What luck to have struck upon some basic beauty.
It is reprehensible to behold, And downright unholy
What struck me as beauty you now defend with your license.
This is and unreachable peach, I don’t uphold a pretence.
What are days and weeks and months and years, if not the counts of ageing?
So while the crowds are gone and the floor is clear, let’s dance while to our graves we’re racing.
With my son and my wife, there is a life yet to have been.
For you to take it would be obscene.

Silent Arrow:

I’m not the monster I’m painted to be, I’m good right to my bones.
I have not inherited your wisdom, I’ve gone out on my own.
Ploughed a furrow, why do we play these games?
Pause for a thought.
And so it goes.
The most ordinary thing on Earth, a cloud has ruptured above us.
A crack in the skin over our town, a spell in the air that we breathe.
There was a time when I was the only thing that didn’t make you sad.
Now you’re sad all of the time and I can’t alter that.
A fever dips into your heart like a silent arrow.
Complicates any signs of joy with a blanket sorrow.

Dots:

Dots upon dots upon dots of patient fretwork.
A persistent fight in the hope that all the drugs
that you are not taking
are not limiting
your potential.
Your potential,
as you contemplate
the balance you have set
between the moral high-ground
that you occupy
and the depths of
creativity into which you
have not plunged.
But, of course
you can think too much,
I’ve always told myself.
And, of course,
I worry myself
over some imagined lack of freedom,
I have imposed upon myself,
fully aware that it is
ridiculous in this context.

 

Crippling Lack. Volume 2.

River:

A river is led seaward and bended by it’s father’s channel so deep in the valley.
And I stretched my language to the edge of savoury, cursing the life that I’ve landed. And as I approach the age of thirty,father I’m closing in on you.
I have come to appreciate, things have crystallised, we all have the same dispositions.
Some people are straight, and some are not, we all have potential within us.
Some people muster much more motivation, while others we languish frustrated.
And if I were to grab the arm of another, as they did rise to a position of status, would it be the hanger or the hangee whom has achieved? And would to sell the story of a journey, although the journey be under someone else’s steam, be reason enough to place oneself in an important position?
In short I feel redeemed and empowered, despite suffering my old constitutions.
A river is led seaward, and bended, by it’s father’s channel so deep in the valley.

Concrete Statement:

Spend a long time waiting for some hard-boiled words,
some concrete statement.
Such jellied, opaque promises will be nothing come the sun.
Your tatty cloth remarks are never sewn into anything that I can wear.
I can be relied upon to jump at other chances.
Just as you’re relied upon to offer no advances.
Shingle underfoot, the wind it bites on empty beaches.
The salted spray pecks at your face, and you screw up your features.
The sun spits out of rolling grey, and lights the sea on the horizon.
I struggle with the concepts that you spread on our conversation.

I Close My Eyes:

I know you can hold the beat of another man’s heart. Just as I can feel the fire of another man’s fist.
And I know that there are things that I should start. And I assure you it’s not another’s boat I harbour.
Each characteristic of mine, that curls the very spine, of this love, of these lives that have entwined,is duly proffered in each and every song. I close my eyes and it all goes wrong.
I exist, permanently, under a cloud of intention.
Sisters of sister’s friends become the fleck of terror in your revery and half-sleep dreams. Tongue the roof of your mouth,your fists would find a punchbag,if it were present.
My attitude to love is like my teenage attitude to sex: I know what it is, and I know I have potential. But I don’t know, I don’t know precisely where it goes.

Crippling Lack. Volume 3.

Gulf:

There is a gulf that I have opened into which all your trust in me fell.
There is a gulf that you have opened, into which all my trust in you fell
For every crime that I’m blamed for every weakness in my bones.
I don’t blame you for any, but I don’t care for your bones
For every death among the children, every day that I’m alone.
I just want to ensure that you don’t step into my home
I bring to you no autumn joy, the wind it whistles merrily.
You bring to me no autumn joy, the wind it cuts and bites me deep
The leaves are crisp and brown and dry, oh winter, winter won’t you come on me.
The day has left me intensely annoyed, oh winter, winter won’t you come on me
I’m not so fond of talking when I left town it was in the storm of an argument.
We really should have talked it though, I did not want to have an argument
I was a glass-eyed boy and I had cracked the glaze on my doll of china.
You were a weak willed debater, you have hurt me and you know
Amazingly the integrity remains intact, the doll still stands but somehow much finer.
But I have perspective on the situation, I will not let this become a low
What I know about this feeling I knew before I met you. It’s simply that our meeting has proven all of this to be true.
What I know about this feeling I knew before I met you, but it is simply that your leaving has proven all this to be true

Beast Without You:

(I came all this way for nothing)
The horrid thought,
the muscular build,
the rampant lie,
the feeling ill,
the sickly child,
the growth to manhood,
the worried mother,
the thought that I could
become such a beast without you.
Such silliness, such silliness.
Come into my arms.
Sweet child, sweet innocent.
No trouble shall thee harm.

Plunge of the Dagger:

Such a token is a rather brittle device,
to say “I won’t take you of my sight”.
I recognise all that I cannot provide,
worthless whimsy if you like.
And protectionism is hard to pull off.
We are at risk every moment of being taken.
It all ends with the plunge of the dagger.
There are waves of content that crash ashore,
and a simplicity that is blackness
creeps over all.